I’ve heard it said, “Eyes are a window to the soul.” Nobody really knows who said it. Some believe Shakespeare said it, but others claim biblical origins. Regardless of the quote’s origin, most of us can attest to its meaning. When we look at someone, especially for prolonged periods of time, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. In fact, a 1989 study was published in The Journal of Research in Personality called, “Looking and Loving: The Effects of Mutual Gaze on Feelings of Romantic Love” found that “subjects induced to exchange mutual unbroken gaze for 2 minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other.” What does this mean for us? It means that who we look at sparks passions, and love. This might mean, that though sometimes the developments of feelings may have something to do with “love at first sight” more often than not it has to do with time spent in the presence of another person.
The gazes lovers share are not always passionate. And those passionate moments are not the only times that love grows. Sometimes, love grows in just an absent-minded stare over a bowl of cereal on Saturday morning or a glance upward while brushing your teeth. Sometimes it’s just a subconscious awareness that another person is in the room with you while you check your e-mail, watch the news, or cook dinner. In times like these, you may not even need words. You just might glance over at that person, know that he or she is there, and relax into that presence. If that person falls asleep, you might walk more quietly so as not to wake him/her. The bottom line is that over time, we subconsciously change the direction of our lives, when we are in the presence of others, especially if that person is someone we love. Try as we might, the more we look at someone, the harder it is to walk in a different direction than he/she does.
The truth is that if we really love someone, and allow ourselves to be truly present to him/her regularly, it is difficult to really stray from that loving relationship. It is one of the reasons why long distance relationships can be so difficult. We crave that contact. We crave just knowing that another person is in the room with us.
What does this mean for my relationship with the Lord? It means that looking at the Lord is vital to having any kind of a relationship with Him. As Catholics, we can gaze upon the face of the Lord anytime we want in the Holy Eucharist. If we just show up, for even a brief moment, we can gaze at the Lord, while He looks back at us (the way lovers do), to invoke passion. There may be times during this stare when we leave totally on fire with love for God. Those days are like the clarity of a first kiss that causes your stomach to fill with butterflies. It’s really easy to want to be in the presence of God when this happens. It may happen for you. It may not. More often than not though, gazing at the Lord may feel more like doing required laundry with someone you love than dancing with your husband for the first time on your wedding day. Luckily, the Lord does not need butterflies and lightening bolts to change your life and your heart, even though he may use them sometimes. Choosing to be in the Lord’s presence regularly makes it difficult to stray too far from His loving embrace even if you don’t feel or can’t understand it. Just like it’s impossible to walk in a straight line for very long with your head turned to the right, it’s hard to walk away from the Lord if you regularly look at Him. You might take some detours, but you can’t get too far off track if you just look at Him. The gaze is powerful. His gaze can change every sinner to a saint, sometimes actively, sometimes passively. Somebody, somewhere once said that the “eyes are the windows to the soul.” What would happen, if you just looked at the Lord?